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  "How could you not have known they were sisters?" Drew asked. It was a question I wondered about too. When I wasn’t blaming myself for not realizing Moby and Mason were the same. A tattoo? That was my evidence? Maybe I’m the idiotic one and the plain one.

  Mason shoved his chair back so there was some space between them. "They don’t look much alike," Mason said, addressing Drew.

  “Umm, same smile, same eyes.”

  Mason huffed. “I suspected it at one point, okay? But then I asked Hope, and she said her last name was Vincent! How do they have different last names?"

  Drew sighed. "I guess that's a little weird. Lacy has her dad's last name, and Hope has their mom's. Neither of their parents wanted to give up their name and they thought hyphenation was too problematic. What if Lacy gets married some day and her spouse wants to keep his or her name, and she wants both of hers. Their kid could end up being named Ferdinand Vincent-Shelton-Snuffle-up-a-gus."

  Mason raised one eyebrow at Drew. “His or her?”

  Drew shook her head. “Never mind.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad you’re back, Drew.”

  "Me too. Someone needs to insulate you from the emanation of testosterone. I hear he’s a real Moby Dick.”

  She was on a roll, and it felt good to smile.

  Mason glared at her. “I don’t emanate testosterone.”

  “No one asked you, Arnold Schwarzenegger. California may be fooled by your shiny muscles, but here in Texas we don’t consider someone who flirts with two sisters and doesn’t even realize he’s doing it very smart.”

  “Honestly, other than their smiles, they look and sound nothing alike.” Mason looked funny pouting.

  He should have been annoying me, but I found everything he did too cute. Maybe Drew was right. She texted me this morning telling me I needed to maintain a distance of ten feet from him to keep my head clear.

  "You already pointed that out," I said. "So, are you saying that if we weren't sisters, it would be fine that you were flirting with both of us?" I raised one eyebrow.

  "Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. It's not like I did anything with either of you." Mason looked shifty and jumpy. I'd never seen him look so uncomfortable, not even before his first round of debate. "I asked Hope if she wanted to hang out, but that was before you invited me over."

  I was right and wrong. He asked her, but that did happen first, before I invited him.

  Even so. "You asked her out," I said flatly. It was basically the same thing Hope had told me. Which meant she was right. He hadn't asked me on a date, but he had asked her.

  "She's easier," he said. "I don't have to think with her."

  Drew's eyes lifted almost to her hairline and she whistled long and low. "Dude, that was the wrong thing to say."

  "You want someone who doesn't make you think? You know what?" I said, "I don't care. I don't care what you do, actually. If you want to date my sister because you heard she's 'easy', that's not really any of my business." I sat down on the chair and looked Mason in the eye. "But I got a call this morning from Mr. Langston. He's bringing his friend to a tournament in Clear Lake this weekend, which is only about half an hour away. Ms. Harris got us on the roster, and I need you to come, to get us both into Yale. I know you like easy things, so that may not be your jam, but I think Ivy League sounds good."

  Mason looked poleaxed. He was utterly quiet for a moment.

  Drew glanced from Mason to me and back again. "This is where you say, 'sure, Lacy, I'll totally come. After all, I stole this spot from your best friend who kind of sucked anyway, so I'd be a real whale of a jerk if I didn't go help you get into Yale.' Man, I had no idea I’d get so many burns out of one tattoo." When he didn’t reply, she poked Mason's arm like you might poke a cadaver. "Why aren't you repeating after me? I gave you the script this time, man." Drew turned to me and tilted her head. “You ditched me to debate with this guy? Really?”

  "I can’t go. I have a swim meet this weekend." Mason shifted on his seat. "It's a big one, and there's a recruiter from University of Texas coming to see me. It's a qualifying meet for state."

  "And swimming matters more than debate," I said bitterly. "That makes sense. I bet it's easier, right?"

  "You’ve got to be kidding me." Drew shook her head.

  "Look, it's not about easier, or whatever. I didn’t mean it like that." Mason stood up and then sat back down. "I don't see why I can't do both."

  “Are we talking about swimming and debate right now?” Drew raised her eyebrows. “Because I hope we are, and if so, you can’t be in two places at once.” She looked at me and mock whispered. “Really? I’m understanding his interest in Hope, honestly.”

  A part of me bristled at her for dissing my sister. But more of me was angry so I kept quiet.

  Mason glared at her. "I mean I know I can’t do them on the same weekend obviously, but I want to do swimming and debate. Lacy, you said the next tournament was Lamar next weekend. I can go to that one. We have a swim meet, but I already told Coach I can’t make it. I'm not trying to be flaky, but I just can't go this weekend on such short notice. I already committed to go to the Cypress Woods Invitational."

  "It's Yale,” I said. “I didn’t pick this, Mason. Or wait, maybe you prefer for me to call you Moby now?"

  He rolled his eyes. "My name is Mason. That's like a whole swimming thing, okay."

  "Which I obviously can't understand, right? I just can't comprehend what it means to work hard, to be talented, or to achieve excellence, not when you add water." I huffed. “You never even mentioned swimming you know, not once. And I sniffed for chlorine and didn’t smell any.”

  Mason’s eyes light up and he smirks. “So that’s what you were doing.”

  “Shut up,” I say. “You don’t get to make this a big joke. It’s my life and my future on the line.”

  Mason nods. "I know it is, but the thing is, I just, it's like there are these two parts of who I am, and they don't entirely line up. My mom wants me to debate, but she said swimming takes priority and my dad, he says focusing on one thing is a mistake. He played for the Astros for twelve years, and then last month they terminated his contract because they found someone better. That's why we moved here, where my mom's parents have a vacation home we can live in for free, and my mom got a job working as a nurse. Focusing on swimming may be myopic or whatever, but I can't just quit either. It's part of who I am." He sat back down and clenched his hands into fists. "I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it’s the truth."

  "Being a debater is who you are, too," I said. "I've never seen someone with more natural talent."

  "Why can't I do both? Call Langston back and just tell him we can't do Clear Lake. Tell him to bring his buddy to Lamar."

  I groaned. "Lamar’s a joke. I signed up because it should be easy to get another six points there. It's the smallest TFA qualifying meet because everyone good goes to Alief Kerr that weekend instead, okay?"

  Mason threw his hands in the air. "Then let's go to Alief Kerr! Geez, what’s with you? Nothing makes you happy. I told you I can go next weekend, but that's still not good enough. I’m not the one trying to change things last minute."

  Drew leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Umm, the whole class is watching, including Ms. Harris who didn’t notice an entire semester of half the class playing Dungeons and Dragons last year. They brought wooden swords sometimes. And played with them. Maybe we continue this later?"

  "Fine," I said. "Go to your swim meet, but Drew and I are going to Clear Lake."

  Drew's eyes went wide and darted back and forth between Mason and me, but she didn't say anything.

  Mason shrugged. "Do what you’ve got to do."

  "I always do. I don't always pick whatever’s easiest."

  "Okay.” Drew poked me. “You two crazy kids sure are fun, but Lacy and I need to get ready for this weekend's tournament. Mason, why don’t you help Kim update the Impromptu files back there?" She pointed toward the b
ack corner of the room.

  Kim sat up straighter and waved at Mason, who sighed and moved over to the back to dig into the photocopied articles. I slumped down into my seat, worn out. It was about the worst time for Drew to pester me, and she usually could sense that, but not that morning. She cleared her throat first, then she tapped the table with a pen, and eventually she poked my arm.

  "What?" I said. "Can’t I have a minute to process all this? I’m sorry I said we were going this weekend without asking you. We don’t have to, okay?”

  She turned her laptop screen toward me. "This weekend is fine. I was being an overly sensitive idiot yesterday and I should’ve trusted you way before. You’ve always been my best friend, and you’re a good best friend. But none of that was why I’m poking you.”

  Drew tapped on her laptop screen. The webpage for the open evidence project was pulled up. It's a website where debaters upload their work and everyone can use the stuff they've come up with. If you can't afford a summer camp, it's a good place to get your first case. Sometimes I find decent links there, or the rudiments of a new kritik.

  "Hmm, well, while I appreciate your concern, I don't think we're that desperate. You went to Baylor and I went to UT. If we decide to scrap my weird case, we can always pull from our summer cases."

  "It may come to that," Drew said without taking the computer back.

  "What?" I glanced down at the file she opened. My jaw dropped. "It's a counterplan to my plan. It's based on Singer's slightly more moralistic anti-anthropocentrism, one that doesn't equate humans to a blade of grass." I cursed. "Look! It incorporates an analysis of Zimmerman's critique of Heidegger for his failure to condemn Treblinka."

  I felt like crying.

  "What are you going to do?" Drew asked. "I don't totally understand what that says, but it doesn't look good."

  "This is Todd," I said. "I know it is. He's still pissed I beat him last weekend, so he spent the past few days on this. I can't take my plan to Clear Lake until I figure out how to counter this. We only have tonight and tomorrow to get this done."

  Drew arched one eyebrow. "Umm, you’re saying we, but I don’t even really understand your plan, much less this attack on it. I think you meant to say that you only have tonight and tomorrow.”

  I sighed. She was right. She wasn’t going to be able to help me.

  “Or, and I’m just throwing this out there to help you, not because I don’t want to go, you could back out of Clear Lake. It's not like Ms. Harris has even sent the check in yet."

  I glared at Mason, who kept glancing our way. "I'm not backing out of Clear Lake."

  "Fine, but you know we have our Chaucer projects due Monday. And that Calculus test."

  "I know," I said. "I know all that. It's going to be fine."

  Drew's perfectly plucked eyebrows went up, but she didn't say anything else.

  "It's Yale, Drew. Yale."

  "You have a pretty good chance of getting in on your own, you know, even without debate.” When I ignored her, Drew said, “Not if you get Fs in calculus and English, though."

  “Helpful, thanks.” I should be hearing back from them on early admissions in the next few weeks, but being Valedictorian was not as impressive at Brazosport as it is at other, bigger and more impressive schools. Support from the debate director could be just the thing I need to be one of the few accepted.

  "Unlike you, neither of my parents went to Yale," I reminded her. "I have zero family members contributing to their alumni fund, and no legacy of Sheltons, or Vincents for that matter, attending. I need something else. I can feel it."

  I spent the rest of class reading through Todd's freaking counterplan, the one he had posted online to ensure every single idiot debater from here to Dallas had a copy. The problem was, it was good. If I was being honest, it was probably better than my original plan. I couldn't see a way around his criticism. His is only a critique though, not a real plan, so I couldn’t take his and turn it into anything I could use. It was like a parasite—it needed my plan to survive.

  With Drew actually present at school, Mason got stuck sitting in any empty seat he could find in physics and history. I tried not to look at him, but I couldn't help it. Every time I did, he was looking back at me. The first time or two he tried to smile, but he quit when I kept turning away. In calculus we had started the week out as partners, and Ms. Grigassy said we couldn't switch. Drew reluctantly went to work with Ewelina Vaijahovski. She had been my arch nemesis for years, trailing me by a fraction of a grade point since freshman year. At this point, unless one of us screwed up, I had her beat.

  "I'm not sure this one's right," Mason pointed. "I think the derivative is actually-"

  "How about you just work on these and I'll do these," I said. "It's probably easier that way."

  "Knock it off, Lacy. Seriously."

  I looked up at him, and my heart stuttered when I saw his gorgeous face, all earnest and sad. I started the day wanting to fight for him, but somehow, knowing he asked Hope out, and hearing him say she was easier, I don’t know. It knocked the wind out of my chest and I just, I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to fight Hope anymore.

  "Here's the thing Mason. I've never been in this exact situation, but you can't understand what a nightmare it is to me. Hope's always been athletic and pretty, much prettier than, well, everyone." I felt my throat closing off. I couldn't tell him she's the pretty one because I couldn't bring myself to say I'm ugly compared to her in case he hasn’t already noticed, but it's true. If I wasn’t honest, I’d have looked stupid. "She's the pretty one, okay, the one everyone wants to hang out with, and the one everyone wants to take to the beach. I'm the one who people ask to help them with their homework. And now I meet this guy I really like, a guy who's perfect for me, and get this, he's hot. Like, really, unbelievably hot." I looked away, focusing on the chalkboard. "He could star in a movie or something and he likes me. He debates, and he's smart and he's going to try and finish unpacking really fast so he can come spend time with me, maybe."

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at him. "But then it turns out, he didn’t rush packing. He might not even have had to unpack at all. The thing is, he made that up, because he’d already asked out my sister, the one who everyone loves more than me. The one I can't compete with, and I never could. And he has a lot in common with her, too.”

  I knew I should stop, but I couldn’t seem to do it. “I have two options, right? Be pathetic and try and beat my sister in her perfect little kingdom, or you know, just give up and watch the inevitable unfold." I paused, and then whispered, "I'm many things, but so far I’ve never been pathetic. I really don’t want to start."

  Mason put his hand on mine. "You're not pathetic. You're the opposite of pathetic." Which is exactly what he would say to a pathetic person, because he’d feel bad for her.

  I pulled my hand away. "I'm choosing option B. I'm not a moron, I know how this will go down, but I don't want to watch it, okay? Now you can take Hope to the beach, and out to get pizza and everywhere you go, heads will turn right and left and people will sigh and clap because you’re just soooo perfect for each other. Just don't rub my nose in it."

  "It's not like that," Mason said. "I like Hope, but-"

  "If you like Hope, then it is like that." I looked down at the math problems. "Please do those, and I'll do mine. I don't need a partner, and I think this working together crap is pointless. Go to your super important invitational swim meet and leave me alone."

  "What about next weekend at Lamar?"

  I exhaled loudly. "What happened to the smart guy I knew yesterday?" I shoved my books into my bag and stood up. "I don't even know if I have a case to run anymore, but I'm certainly not asking for your help with my problems. I’ll be fine with Drew, okay? You can make it to the swim meet you were going to bail on." I walked up to the front of the room, told Mrs. Grigassy I was feeling sick and marched down the hall to eat lunch in the library.

  Drew showed up a few minutes la
ter. "You okay?"

  I smiled bitterly in response, and went back to trying to wade through Dombrowski's stupid analysis of Zimmerman and Heidegger. Geez, who are these people that have nothing else to do other than pick at the philosophical ramblings of these long dead pontificators? This is where our funding for education is going? It's a rat hole, a complete waste. I slammed my laptop shut and squished my eyes with the palms of my hands. My brain hurt from trying to make sense out of that utter rubbish.

  One of the best things about Drew was how she always knew, just knew, when to leave me alone, and when to make me talk. When I spun out, she sat next to me, quietly eating her almond butter sandwich while I fumed, and read, and fumed some more. By the time lunch was done, I felt a little better.

  She and I walked to Spanish in silence until right outside of the classroom. "Did you want me to come over today and help with anything?"

  I shook my head. "It's nice of you to ask, but you never really understood the point of the counterplan, anyway, not really."

  She didn't disagree. “I can come over for moral support, if that’s what you need.”

  "It’s okay. I'll focus on that tonight and tomorrow. There's always Sunday to work on Chaucer, study for calculus, and catch up on my reading for history."

  Señora Diaz announced we would be having a test on Monday in Spanish. We only had a few weeks until the Advanced Placement tests and we were behind schedule. I added one more thing to my list for Sunday, and tried (unsuccessfully) not to stress about it.

  I didn’t notice that Ms. Harris was too happy to be, well, Ms. Harris. I didn’t notice Hope’s ex was being annoying, or that she was hurting about our fight, or that my mom was sick again. I didn’t notice that Drew was pasting on a happy face and supporting me when she still felt isolated and misunderstood by nearly everyone in her life. I didn’t think about anyone but myself.

  See, when you’re drowning, at first you think you’ll be fine if you just hold your breath a little longer and kick a little harder. By the time you realize there’s a problem, you’re too far down and you don’t have any time left. I didn’t notice any of the stuff I should have, because I was too busy drowning myself.